Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Life Romantic

So, my interviews are done now, and so is my time as a regular Deadly Vixens poster.

I originally agreed to be here for only a few months, to help supply content as the search for other bloggers went on. I gave my word I would stay no longer than that, and as there are now new Vixens in abundance, I can go, with a clear conscience. It's been fun, but other things demand my attention, and I must turn to them.

There's the preamble. Now for the actual blog.

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Why do people read romances?

I believe that it's similar to the reason that people love superheroes: we need to believe in the "happy ever after," in the good guys always winning, in evil being defeated in the end, despite the evidence to the contrary that reality often presents. In reality, the "happy ever after" marriage often ends in divorce, the good guys sometimes die with their missions unfulfilled, and the bad guys somehow keep getting re-elected. Reality, to put it plainly, is more often unsatisfactory to our emotional desires than not.

But here's the rub: it doesn't have to be that way.

I want, in a wife, what I want. I want (in no particular order) intelligence, creativity, passion, beauty, grace, charm, elegance, sophistication, style, poise, and the ability to meet my needs all in one woman, and I'm not settling for less. This may explain my long periods of being single. But the solitude is worth it to me, if, in the end, I am together with the most wonderful, greatest lady I have ever known, no matter how long it takes. She's worth waiting for, wherever she is now.

This is what our heroines and heroes in romance novels do: they find exactly what they want, whether they were actively seeking it or not. That's how they get the "happy ever after;" they know what they want and recognize it before them. Granted, there may be rough edges that need polishing off (and that feeds into that "I can fix the Bad Boy" mentality that gets so many women into bad relationships, but that's a topic for another time), though in that world, the edges are certainly easier to handle than they are in reality. But I digress.

Want the "happy ever after" ending? Then know yourself, know your needs and wants, and be strong enough - and patient enough - to not stop looking until you've found the person that meets them and completes you. Want right to prevail over evil in the world? Then be that person that always does the right thing, and in doing so set an example for those around you.

My whole point of this is to say that the "happy ever after" ending isn't impossible in reality. It may be difficult and arduous to find, but it's possible to have the romance-filled real life that we read about in books, and it's worth the diligence and search, isn't it, to have just what you wanted and be happy?

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And that is the end of my regular contributions here. I'll still be around, commenting from time to time, but my interviews are done.

Special thanks and wishes to my best friend: happy heart day to you! (She knows what I'm talking about.)

Thanks to Gracen, Sarah, Margay, and Ashley for having me here, it's been fun!

Thanks also to Tierney and Sierra for helping talk me into this, you are both missed here!

Thanks especially to all the people I interviewed, who put up with my bumbling efforts to learn how to inteview people, and gave great answers to my questions!

And most of all, thanks to the readers, who didn't instantly ridicule me nor abandon he site in droves at the sight of my ramblings and questionings. . .nothing is possible for a writer without readers, and you have been among the best in that class.

To everyone, don't ever stop pursuing your dreams; one does not fail until one stops trying, and even in their pursuit rather than capture can dreams be fulfilling, even if merely in that they are still alive.

Don't ever give up on your dreams.

Sayounara!

Pandem
vagabondsaint.wordpress.com

7 deadly screams:

Sierra Wolfe said...

Aww, how sweet Pandem. Your interviews have been awesome! I hope you get all that you wish for. Good luck!

Sierra

Sarah Mäkelä said...

Thanks for doing the interviews! They have been wonderful. I've always enjoyed reading them. I miss you already. lol Definitely stick around! *HUGS*

Margay said...

Pandem, you will be missed. What a classy post!
Margay

Gracen Miller said...

Pandem, I agree with everyone. You were an awesome addition to the Deadly Vixens and you will be greatly missed, not by just me, but by readers that I have come to know and call friends since beginning this blog almost a year ago.

Although I quit my post as a Vixen blogger this week (which had nothing to do with family issues), I will still greatly miss your blogs and interviews and the exuberance of your personality in these blogs. So, I guess we both walk out the Vixen door this week and look forward to new opportunities.

Good luck to you in all that you do!

Gracen

Pandem said...

awwwwwwwwwww. . thanks all for the kind words. . i won't be gone far, and i'll keep up with this blog, so be good, all of you *s*

Carrie said...

Hi Pandem,

I agree with everyone that your interviews were great and entertaining and this blog was awesome!

I too know that the happy ever after will come to you, you just have to stop looking.

How do I know?

Because that's how I got mine! I stopped dating and took time to focus on my studies at the time and sure enough, through a little twist and turn I went to eventually meet the man who can still give me kisses that make my knees quiver like jello and every fiber in my being yearns to be with him when he's not here.

So, yes, don't give up on what you want. Don't settle because you both may regret it later. Be prepared to put in the work that a lasting relationship needs.

Lust/passion might be a great plus for any relationship, but remember, it fades, or changes color with age, so if there isn't anything more to a relationship that that, there may not be enough left to hold a relationship together when the lust/passion fades or changes color...

Of course, lust and passion can reignite themselves, but they also will dim, much like a roller coaster ride. Which is why any durable, long-lasting relationship needs more than one or two facets to it and lots of communication.

Good Luck to both Pandem and Gracen!

Carrie from Wisconsin

Pandem said...

Thanks Carrie!