Writing sex scenes

Sex scenes. They're pretty much a given when writing romance, but we don't want to just read about the mechanics of "the act." Personally, if I wanted to read about that, I'd find a sexual education pamphlet or read a hardcore erotica story. As Sierra mentioned on Monday, there has to be a balance to these types of scenes. The reader has to feel like they are there with the characters and experience what it's like to be the heroine and/or hero, instead of feeling completely like a voyeur.

I agree that writing a love scene can be hard. It took me a while to feel confident in writing them. I still struggle a little with them. There's always the thought of when I get this published, what will so-and-so think of me? I had a scene that I wrote once several years back that I couldn't bring myself to keep because of that pressure. Now I kind of kick myself for completely deleting it.

Also, there are times when I just have to be in the mood to write one. Writing comes from the imagination, and sometimes I just don't feel very imaginative when it comes to that area. I find that I can always write a fight scene, but GOOD sex scenes come harder (no pun intended). At those times when I'm not feeling into the scene, I tend to go on with the next scene, or write an outline of the sex scene and then move on.

So, how do you find the inspiration to write sex scenes? What do you like most about them? Least? Let me know what you think. =)

Is It Hot In Here?

Writing sex scenes for romance novels is pretty much required. Of course, you can write sweet romances, inspirational romance, or even young adult and avoid this area, but for the most part, sex is required.

At first, I was embarrassed to write those scenes. Now that I've gotten more involved in the business and made friends, I've learned just how popular the romance genre is. Romance is the highest selling of all the fiction genres. There are a lot of people reading them, so why should I be embarrassed to write the sex in them?

For one thing, it's a very personal subject. Some people can't even talk about sex without blushing. I'm not that embarrassed, but I do believe sex can be a touchy subject. Let's face it, it happens. Everyday, every hour, probably every minute, somewhere in the world, someone is having sex.

I got past my embarrassment well enough. Once you write your first scene, it gets a lot easier from there.

They are difficult to write though, because you have to convey the emotion of the moment. That's not an easy task. You can't just write about the mechanics because that doesn't get people emotionally involved. We want to know how she's feeling, what her thoughts are. And what about him? It's even harder to write from his point of view. As I've never been a man, I don't know what he feels like.

Someone gave me the good advice that to write a good sex scene, you should have a 50/50 balance. 50% should be mechanics and 50% should be emotion. That sounds like pretty good advice to me.

I'm still working on improving my writing. I probably will until the day I die. I believe that you never know everything there is to know about a subject. You can be the worlds leading expert on something, but I'm sure, there is more you can learn. There is always room for improvement and ways to better your craft. So, for now, I will keep learning and keep trying to write the best story I can.

Do you have trouble with writing sex scenes? As a reader, do you have difficulty reading them, especially if they are poorly written? I'd love to hear your thoughts.